We always hear "the rules" from the female side. These are our rules!
- Learn to work the toilet seat. You're a big girl. If it's up, put it down. We need it up, you need it down. You don't hear us complaining about you leaving it down.
- Ask for what you want. Let us be clear on this one: Subtle hints do not work! Strong hints do not work! Obvious hints do not work!
- Yes and No are perfectly acceptable answers to almost every question.
- Come to us with a problem only if you want help solving it. That's what we do. Sympathy is what your girlfriends are for.
- If you won't dress like the Victoria's Secret girls, don't expect us to act like soap opera guys.
- If you think you're fat, you probably are. Don't ask us.
- Whenever possible, please say whatever you have to say during commercials.
- Christopher Columbus did not need directions and neither do we.>
- If it itches, it will be scratched. We do that.
- If we ask what is wrong and you say "nothing," we will act like nothing's wrong.
- Don't ask us what we're thinking about unless you are prepared to discuss such topics as baseball, the shotgun formation, or monster trucks.
Thank you for reading this; Yes, I know I have to sleep on the couch tonight, but did you know men really don't mind that, it's like camping.