A Frenchman, an Englishman, and a New Yorker were captured by
a fierce tribe. The chief comes to them and says, "The bad news
is that now that we've caught you, we're going to kill you, and
then use your skins to build a canoe. The good news is that you
get to choose how you die."
The Frenchman says, "I take poison." The chief gives him some
poison, the Frenchman says, "Viva la France!" and drinks it down.
The Englishman says, "A pistol for me, please." The chief gives
him a pistol, he points it at his head, says, "God save the queen!"
and blows his brains out. The New Yorker says, "Gimme a fork." The
chief is puzzled, but he shrugs and gives him a fork. The New
Yorker takes the fork and starts jabbing himself all over --the
stomach, the sides, the chest, everywhere. There's blood gushing
out all over, it's horrible. The chief is appalled, and screams,
"What are you doing???"
The New Yorker looks at the chief and says,
"So much for your canoe, asshole!"