Man Bashing

• Men are like Blenders...           You need one, but you’re not quite sure why.
• Men are like Cement...           after getting laid, they take a long time to get hard.
• Men are like Chocolate...           sweet, smooth, and they usually head right for your hips.
• Men are like Coffee...           the best ones are rich, warm, and can keep you up all night long.
• Men are like Coolers...           load them with beer and you can take them anywhere.
• Men are like Copiers...           You need them for reproduction, but that’s about it.
• Men are like Parking spots...           The good ones are already taken and what's left is handicapped.
• Men are like Plungers...           they spend most of their lives in a hardware store or in the bathroom.
• Men are like Snow storms...           You never know when they’re coming, how many inches you’ll get or how long they will last.
• Men are like Vacations...           they never seem to be long enough.

Why is it hard for a woman to find men who are sensitive, caring and good looking...         Because those men already have boyfriends.

Men are like a fine wine. They start out as grapes, and it's up to women to stomp the shit out of them until they turn into something acceptable to have dinner with. SEMINARS FOR MALES (prepared and presented by females)

• Combating Stupidity
• You, Too, Can Do Housework
• PMS: Learn When to Keep Your Mouth Shut
• How to Fill an Ice Tray
• We Do Not Want Sleazy Underthings for Christmas: Give us Money
• Understanding the Female Response to Your Coming in Drunk at 4:00am
• Wonderful Laundry Techniques (formerly titled "Don't Wash my Silks")
• Parenting: No, It Doesn't End With Conception
• Get a Life: Learn to Cook
• How Not to Act Like a Jackass When You're Obviously Wrong
• Spelling: Even You Can Get it Right
• Understanding Your Financial Incompetence
• You: The Weaker Sex
• Reasons to Give Flowers
• How to Stay Awake in Public
• Why it is Unacceptable to Relieve Yourself Anywhere but the bathroom
• Garbage: Getting it to the Curb
• You Can Fall Asleep Without it if You Really Try
• The Morning Dilemma if it's awake: Take a Shower
• I'll Wear it if I Damn Well Please
• How to Put the Toilet Lid Down (formerly titled "No, It's Not a Bidet")
• "The Weekend" and "Sports" are Not Synonyms
• Give Me a Break: Why We Know Your Excuses are Bull
• How to Go Shopping with Your Mate and Not Get Lost
• The Remote Control: Overcoming Your Dependency
• Romanticism: Ideas Other Than Sex
• Helpful Postural Hints for Couch Potatoes
• Mothers-in-Law: They are People Too
• Male Bonding: Leaving Your Friends at Home
• You, Too, Can Be a Designated Driver
• Seeing the True You (formerly titled "No, You Don't Look Like Mel Gibson When Naked")
• Changing Your Underwear: It Really Works
• The Attainable Goal: Omitting "dude" From Your Vocabulary
• Fluffing the Blankets After Flatulating is Not Necessary
• Techniques for calling home